I Will post our Fan Dance Tribute to Noel Toy Next Week! In the meantime...
Monday 31 May 2010
Monday 24 May 2010
Nautical- Love Boat Party at CHINATOWN
I made the 'Carmen Miranda' & 'Mermaid' costumes in 2 days... if you were wondering why I wasn't picking up my phone last week! Put 7 new acts up that night! Huge success! Can't wait to do it again!
WE WON!!! It's Official: 'Gosney & Kallman's CHINATOWN: BEST NEW CLUB!'
Thank you SO much to everyone who voted!! It feels great to win this!
Friday 21 May 2010
The Chair Dance/ This week
Hi there! What a crazy week! Wednesday we had the lovely Jazz du Funk dance troupe in for a benefit show and we raised twice the amount of money that was needed to get one of their dancers brothers the stem cell treatment he needs to walk again! It was a great night, good feelings all around. There are a few pics from the Chair Dance that night by Jeremy Breningstall. He took a ton of good photos and I plan on sharing a lot more very soon, but am crazy busy! On Thursday we had The Lions of Puxi http://www.myspace.com/lionsofpuxi Shanghai's own Reggae band, play our place, which was lots of fun, they had everyone dancing and goin, put on a great show. Last night (Friday) was the amazing photographer Grant-Oh! Buchwald's birthday party, for which we did a never before performed birthday, photography number that went over a treat!
Tonight we are doing another private event (Love the private events because we can do anything we want!) and it is a Nautical/Love Boat theme! I have 7 new acts going up tonight.... and I really must cut this short, can't wait to share more about it, but in the meantime I have pasties to make and Carmen Miranda costumes to finish! I have turned into a costume machine!
Tuesday 18 May 2010
Monday 17 May 2010
Sunday 16 May 2010
Telegraph!
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http://www.telegraph.co.uk/expat/expatpicturegalleries/7685937/The-art-of-burlesque.html
Love the photos for this (taken by the fabulous Grant-Oh! Buchwald!), and so nice to be in such great company!
Wednesday 12 May 2010
Calling All Tassel Twirlers!
Miss Amelia Kallman is now collecting pasties to be a part of 'Tassology 2: The World's Largest Pastie Collection, Re-Glued,' to be shown at Shanghai's top gallery space, Art Labor, this July along side China's most renown leading artists during a collaborative exhibition for the Shanghai World Expo!
Last year I received pasties from performers and designers all over the world for my first exhibit that gained local and international attention among the art and burlesque community. Participants pasties have been featured in Newsweek, The Telegraph, and Shanghai Time Out, and are on permanent display at 'Gosney & Kallman's CHINATOWN,' China's 1st and only burlesque and variety entertainment emporium.
I hope you will participate! Please send all pasties (and a picture autographed 'To Chinatown,' if possible) to:
Attn: Miss Amelia Kallman
1360 Fuxing Zhong Lu
Building #1, Apt. 3
Shanghai China 200031
Of course I will keep everyone informed on any press received and will be sending out invites to the opening as well! I have about 8 weeks to get this together, so hope to hear from you soon!
Thank you so much, and on behalf of all us burlesquers waving the flag as hard as we can over here in the orient, Thank you for the support!
Yours truly,
Miss Amelia Kallman
Tuesday 11 May 2010
Miss Amelia as Marilyn Monroe
For the Laris 5th Anniversary party I popped out of a giant cake and sang 'Happy, Anniver-sary, to, you!'
Trials and Tribulations... A Day in the Life...
I don't talk a lot about the difficulties with having an entertainment club in China because it is something we have to deal with on a day to day basis. Also, considering the tone I would like to express on this matter I have to be very careful about how I express myself, as I do live here and own a business. Blogs are blocked here in China for a reason, and there is a lot to be said reading between lines. There are tons of rules that need to be followed, or sometimes for the right people or right fee, they don't matter so much. Or sometimes, since there has never been anything like us to compare, they will just make up rules 'to protect the Chinese people.'
It does make me cringe when I think about just how unqualified whoever is 'judging' our acts is. Most likely it is someone who has never been outside of China, someone who probably resents foreigners, someone whose sole entertainment experiences hinges on circus acts and the CNY 'spectacular' that bores children to tears annually. But here we are, yet again, for what feels like the hundredth time (I've stopped bothering to ask 'When will it get easier?'), at the mercy of someone who is hopefully having a good day. Who, hopefully, has a sense of humor. Who, hopefully, is not terribly insecure or completely sexually repressed. Someone who hopefully can see that we already self- edit and go out of our way to abide by the Chinese law, while also entertaining the masses and obeying our own high standards of entertainment.
About 4 weeks ago an ex employee (Ex for some very good reasons that if I went into you wouldn't even believe) went to the cultural department and made a complaint that we were 'Too Sexy.' Oh yeah, and she gave them my passport number too. (a 'wtf' might be appropriate here). They sent spies, filmed the shows, took pictures, and we had to go in for an 'emergency' meeting two days later. Luckily we have a lot of the right kind of people on board and backing us (We wouldn't exist otherwise), and we are now just awaiting approval on the 32 acts we have submitted. We of course submitted our acts once before when we were opening, but the dvds were mysteriously lost (hence 'ex' employee), and anyways, Expo hadn't started yet.
So we are keeping our fingers crossed that tomorrow when they come back to us about which acts are approved and which ones aren't that they have left some in. We have already heard that we can't have water on stage. That underwear that looks like underwear should not be used (but if it is a costume it is okay... still trying to figure out what that means). No implied boners on stage (Can't we just argue that it was real and he couldn't help it? Comedy Sir, Comedy!) Whispers that drag is inappropriate (I've seen a lot of 'Inappropriate' drag, here and out there, and what we do, in one act, with one straight guy is far from it).
What is frustrating to me is the spirit in which we do these acts- Our audiences are adults, who have volunteered to come and expect to be entertained. You can go to disco clubs all over town and see girls with less on then they have on our stage. Kids can go on the subway and see filthy underwear ads all over. If you are official enough I hear there are places with fully nude dancing girls, not to mention the KTV's on every block.
We try to stay positive though, and also recognize that being here has forced us to be far more creative than we have had to be before. We also have new acts every week, and for that, They are going to have to work with us on since we will be submitting new video and acts weekly. Hopefully they begin to see that we have done all the hard editing ourselves, and what is left is something we have thought our way around and know that we have succeeded on a creative level while still conforming to the rules. Hopefully they'll get bored with us. We'll see.
Keep you're fingers crossed. I'll keep you posted. No one ever said burlesque in a communist country would be easy. (All right, I might have said it, but I take it back) ;)
2 Year Wedding Anniversary!
Norman and I were married 2 years ago today here in Shanghai. I tell the story of getting married below, where I describe it sort of like 'Communist Prom.' For a girl who never thought she would get married, I have to say it suits me very well, and I couldn't have asked for a better partner! Something to celebrate indeed! :)
My Small Skinny Chinese Wedding! 5-12-08
"I don't live in China, I live in Shanghai," is a phrase many expats say to try to describe what it is really like to live here. Most of the time this statement applies, as Shanghai is historically more liberal than other Chinese cities, and today the vibrance here is more like New York (in the eighties), or Paris (in the 20's) rather than other Chinese cities. Now with the Olympics approaching though, we are confronted with the undeniable truth that indeed, this crazy, modern, enterprising city is in fact, still China.
I've been living in Shanghai with my boyfriend Norman for about eight months now. We came here after getting disgusted with the state of America, and the 'scene' in New York city, where we both had long resided. We got here during the typhoon, which is a good metaphor for how it felt to arrive in this strange, intriguing city. Now eight months later we are faced with the challenges of getting and maintaining Visas during the coming months of the Olympics. Our one year, multiple entry tourist Visas expired (today!) but because of a recent Hong Kong run, we have a little less than 90 days before... well, hopefully there is no before since we have a plan that is being put into action, which goes a little something like this:
We are opening a business here. Well, a 'Wolfee' to be precise. It is the one that smart foreigners trying to do business here opt for, and means that we get hired by a Chinese company to work for them (basically). There can only be one signer on this, which happens to be Norman as he has more experience in the business arena of things. After all these papers go through he will be awarded the most coveted 'Zed' Visa, which is the golden ticket right now here. It means he gets residency and can legally work here, and only has to take a trip or a forced vacation outside the country every six months. I, on the other hand, need to wait until the company is formed, so then I can be made a partner and also receive this type of Visa, but to put faith in believing this will happen within my 90 days I have left here would be laughable, which means there is a good chance I could be sent back to the states, and left without getting issued a new Visa since I don't have or intend to have tickets to the Olympics, which is the new prerequisite for getting a visa here starting in June. Therefore it came up that if Norman and I were married as the wife of a business man here I would automatically be protected from all this nonsense.
We've been together four years, and have often declared our independence from the inclination of the institution of marriage, as we consider ourselves married in every other sense already, especially since embarking on a life together here in China, and thought, "Why ruin a good thing?" But after hearing over and over again from the young, chipper, Chinese lawyer who is taking care of our paper work that it would ensure my eligibility to stay within the country, hassle free, until my official Zed Visa is awarded to me as well, we started to look at each other a bit differently. Shortly after he asked me to marry him (for real this time!) "To make the Chinese happy," which is not exactly the words I dreamed I would hear during my proposal, but I've been in love for some time now and there is not another person in the world I would ever consider such an offer with, so of course I said YES! I would like to say here, "And they lived happily ever after, The End," but I would be leaving out the most laughable, tedious, and traditional details that really make this a, ummm, Unique, wedding story!
So that night after the proposal (Which actually was lovely in itself, he proposed with his mother's- and her mother's before that- wedding ring!) we met a bunch of friends for drinks and announced we were getting married... probably the day after tomorrow! Now I can't help but laugh as I read that statement, as it is a month later, and it only became official today! If you go on the internet and look up how two foreigners get married in China, it looks impossible, but we consulted with friends who did it here and they told us as long as we have letters of unincombrance and passports ready, the people who do the actual marriage will just do it.
I am a US citizen, so I went to my consulate, took a number, waited amongst 30 or so stressed out Americans in visa crisis, ready to snap mode, with crying babies getting passports, and pictures of my favorite people, George W., Dick, Chenney (with a freaky smile resembling Mr. Burns from The Simpson's), and good old Condilezza. (Ugh.) Finally my number is called, the Chinese girl gives me a one page piece of paper that has about three sentences saying I've never been married, who I intend to marry and my passport number. She questions whether or not my boyfriend is a Chinese resident, the requirement that makes marriage between 2 foreigners seem virtually impossible. I've been told to lie and this is where it could all go wrong. I assure her he is. She goes away, comes back, points to his name and says, "This is not a Chinese name. He is not Chinese" Indeed, my british boyfriend's name 'Norman Gosney' does not sound Chinese at all. I'm turning red, my heart is beating, feeling like I'm about ten and am about to get sent to the principles office, when I fall back on all my years of acting training for one last plea, I say in my most innocent, assuring voice, "Oh! But he Is!" She looks at me strangely and tells me to take a seat. Next is the interview, and this guy is a full-blooded American. I answer all his questions very appropriately, stating we met here in Shanghai and want to open a business together (The kind of answer he probably hears all the time). I raised my right hand and swore that all the information on the form was true. Then I paid $30 US dollars, (200 rmb) and walked out of there relieved! That was the hard part over! I call Norman to see how it is going at the British embassy, only to learn there is apparently more than one catch to marrying a Brit!
After he paid 2700 rmb(!!!), which is equal to $385 US dollars(!!!), or 193 pounds,(!!!) he was told that he could come back in 21 days to pick up his piece of paper. Apparently, they had to "Post the Bans," you know, in case anyone who happened to go to the British consulate in Shanghai, saw our names up there on the foam board and objected, they now have 21 days to do so. This is an archaic law that has been practiced for way too long, but when Norman tried to explain the ludacrisy of this the girl replied in her Chinese-British accent, "Well it's the law sir."
So now it is twenty one days later. In the meantime several of our friends have not been able to renew their visas and were sent back, being told they had to get one from their own country. Also, Norman's developed a bad cold, so the marriage gets postponed a few days, even after he picked up his paperwork. I call the number I have of the marriage bureau, and finally get through after several messages in broken english of "We're. Sorry. The caller. you. are. trying. to reach. is busy. now." It's a good thing I called and got the hours because it is only open Monday, Wednesday, and Fridays from 9:30-11:30am and 1:30-4pm, which I'm discovering these kind of 'Office hours" are pretty typical here.
It is on a Monday now, our friends are planning us a party at the Beijing Roast Duck Restaurant, then drinks at the best bar in Shanghai, The Glamour Bar. We decide to hit the bureau early incase there were any problems. The great photographer, Rodney Evans, is coming along as our witness and personal photographer. I'm dressed in my 'Movie Star' dress, a slinky, sexy, couture white-silver dress, and leopard print shoes... (I guess that part isn't really vital to the story, but I should get a few 'Bridal' moments in this story at least!) We arrive at the "Shanghai Everbright Exhibition Center," and walk into a convention on fiber-optic, energy-efficiant something or others, and get the lamest goody bags ever, full of catalogues in Chinese! This can't be right, but we continue onto the third floor, get out of the elevator into a dim, florescent lit hallway, with a pink sign pointing that way. We walk through doors, past the adoption registry, past the divorce registry, and finally into the marriage registry. We go straight to the desk and sit down confidently. Both Norman and I can't help but be cheery with big smiles on our faces, his mother's wedding ring ready to go... and then our guy says, "Please wait a moment." This is always a bad sign. He comes out with a "Goldfish," meaning a robotic conformist, rule driven person, typically a dorky female with glasses, who often relishes the power they hold in their red, blue, and green stamp pad. She informs us that Norman is missing a piece of his document (his is all ready about 10 pages long) and I am missing One sentence on my document that says the US will recognize this marriage. Our happy, lovely wedding day is crumbling before our eyes. I'm told to go into tears, Rodney does his best negotiations in Chinese, and Norman's getting out the bribe money. We can't help but feel a bit betrayed by our own embassies. Why did they leave out these important sections when they knew this was what it was for? These were things we had to request specifically for them to include? YOu expect this backward stuff a certain amount here, but from our own embassies? They do this stuff everyday, right? You've got to be kidding me.
But they weren't. Deciding this Goldfish was un-bribable, I held back my tears of disappointment as we proceeded into the open room that was set up for photo ops. With the CHinese flag behind us, a huge (tacky) bouquet of red roses and babies breath on the alter in front of us, we mustered all the happiness that had just been squashed back up into our faces and managed to take a few memorable shots of our "marriage" day. Disappointed, we then went off to our embassies (after a brunch since the embassies have similar office hours!) to get the missing paperwork. Surprisingly they both obliged, I received mine on the spot, no questions asked, and Norman could pick his up the next day. Then there was an earthquake! This really has nothing to do with the rest of the story except people flooded the sidewalks and now Norman tells everyone that is happened because of us!
We went ahead and kept our mouths shut about the hold ups with the marriage and to go on and celebrate this happy, momentous occasion of our partnership with our friends. Had every great person who we now consider close friends come out to the traditional Chinese duck dinner and then out for drinks. It was the best duck I have ever had in my life and we got some classic shots, which I will send to people soon. It was a big, warm, loving celebration with all the touches a girl could want: Champagne toasts, presents, and even a bouquet! Though we plan on having a big official ceremony next year after our business is established here in Shanghai, that one not "For the Chinese," but rather, "For the parents" (Yes, and for those bridal instincts, that I hate to admit it, but it turns out I have too!) I really appreciate the low-stress of this celebration, especially after the high stress of trying to get it done!
So this morning, we set out once again to the Exhibition center, both of us now in street clothes and our short circuit New York attitudes ready to kill someone if this didn't finally happen. A guy takes our paperwork, and though we hadn't met him that Monday, he recognized us and asked if we had gotten our papers right. He meticulously checked every single word, finger point, by finger point. It was looking good (though taking Forever!) We were then instructed to get a translation of my document and a picture taken. The translator had me write my name twice on a piece of paper, this cost me 150rmb, then the photographer carefully, and meticulously positioned our heads in just the right angle, and snapped the required pictures. He offered us a copy. This all cost 60 rmb. We could've had traditional Chinese wedding photos taken across the hall where they dress you up in Scarlett O'Hara dresses and fancy tuxedos in front of a painted background of an old manor house in the middle of a field, but we'll have to do that some other time.
Then back to the original guy where we present our receipts, pay another 9 rmb for something or other, I flip through the Chinese Modern Bride magazine, which had illustrated instructions on the latest wedding hairstyle trend, which this month was the Princess Laya look. Finally over to the original goldfish, the one that had broken my heart and made me cry two days before. Here we had to fill out our forms. Opps. Norman crossed out a number, start again. Opps, I did it too. She doesn't know what to do with us dumb foreigners, she lets me thumb print stamp it, she does a series of different color and shape stamps, copies our documents, does more stamping and carbon paper signatures, and finally we are told to join them in the marriage room. This is a private version of the room we had photos taken in before, except there are pink flowers. We are told to stand in front of the China flag and answer several questions, "Do you promise you are not married to other people?" "Do you promise you are not related?" "Do you promise to take care of each other?" "Do you promise to take care of each other's parents?" (Huh?... Ok, yeah, sure. ) "Now you are married." (YEA!!)
Yea! Finally! We managed to squeeze a kiss in before we had to sign our names a few more times. We then received cool little passports with the picture they took of us inside and a statement that we are married. It is nice to finally say "I'm married" and "This is my husband" and have it be literal! I can't compare this experience with any other marriage experience, but I wonder what it is like for foreigners who get married in the states. I bet there is a lot more typing on computers and less carbon paper copies and colored stamping, that's for sure. I've spent a lot of this exposition sticking to the logistical facts just because it was truly a fascinating (frustrating) cultural experience, one that I will remember always and is pretty unique as far as marriage stories go I think. But in case I have failed to mention and make quite clear, I am extremely happy! I am now married to my favorite person. Love was the biggest contributing factor in deciding to get married, though I probably have the paperwork to thank for moving it all along, we wouldn't had considered it otherwise! Hope all our friends and family can get over the shock (Hey, do you expect anything less from Norman and I?) and join in feeling the happiness of this union! Thank you for your love and support!
Mrs. Amelia
Here are some pictures from the occasion, my parents through us a family wedding party last August as well, which was gorgeous!
Monday 10 May 2010
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