Diary of a Shanghai Showgirl: September 2008

I'm very happy to be sitting down and writing a blog today! Things have been so busy it is hard to justify taking time to do this, or maybe it's just I spend the rest of the day on the computer and when I get around to it I can't stand to be on the computer a second longer!

What is going on in the world? The truth is, what is happening in the states and to the market right now played a big part in why we live in China now... Norm was predicting this collapse, comparing 2007 to the year before the stock market first crashed leading to the great depression. And I, not because I realized he was right, but more because I was sick of hearing about this doomed fate, finally said, "Then let's move to Shanghai!" We've been sitting on the edge of our seats glued to CNN and the NY Times watching this collapse happen. I said to Norman about 9pm last night after an article on McCain's frightening and scary health plan, that i was not to be 'informed' anymore until tomorrow and went to bed with a good book. It is exhausting and exasperating, and boy, Norman can justifiably say, "I told you so" but that never makes anything feel better.

Yesterday I had a pretty bad day, and the market collapsing reminded me I'm not alone. But actually I feel the whole story of how I am coming to sit down to write to you, (all five of you!) really begins the day before yesterday when I finally made Norman go and see a doctor for his sore, strep throat. He tried to get out of it of course, but I wouldn't let him especially because I woke up with a sore throat that morning too! This was Norm's first Chinese doctors experience, and I personally always look at it as a bit of a cultural education, as I always walk away with a tale to tell! When I went I had to pay 14 rmb to register, take a number and wait in line with the rest of them. Norman goes to register, they charge him 60rmb and he gets a girl who speaks a bit of english to accompany him and I all around, we jump the line in front of all the people waiting, they take us right into a doctor's room where he is examining another patient (I always feel a bit funny about that, as an American there is such privacy about health care, but not here!) We are seen right away, get double medicine, in and out in 15 minutes. The whole thing cost for both of us about $23 USD. This day happened to be a national holiday as well, so there are many people there, all eating these manufactured meat and squid things that sit in a 7-11 type store all day in a liquid that reminds me of the stuff they fry french fries in at McDonad's. It was very muggy and you can imagine the smell. With the kids squealing and running around, my fear of having to use a bathroom there, which are the fashionable squat toilets, and there is no toilet paper or soap (yup!) I was glad for the quick in and out, but it made me wonder why they had treated me different. Was it because I was a woman? Or because they could understand my menial Chinese? To top off this event we exited and went towards our bikes seeing a 3 or 4 year old boy taking a crap on the sidewalk! It was kind of funny, and cute, and disgusting all at the same time! His dad got some newspaper and cleaned it up like a dog... there was no forgetting we lived in China that day! I don't know if I had mentioned this before, but they don't do diapers here really... The young kids all wear pants with their little bums sticking out!! So funny!

So moving on, yesterday we rolled out of bed a bit late, being sick and all, and I was preparing for this Chinese girl to help me come and assist me for the day. We had offered the secretary job to 2 girls who came to interview, the first one decided to study abroad instead, the second one had family problems or something. I have been advertising auditions for the show and club the best way I can, but needed someone to place some ads on Chinese websites etc, so I freaked a bit and hired one of the 2 Sindy Lynn"s who came to interview for us to assist me a few days before we found someone else (we have since found and hired an exceptional girl). It was very confusing having two Sindy Lynn's, I messed up their interview times, scheduling them both at the same time, thinking they were the same person! So when I got an email from one of them asking for interview pointers after we had turned her down for the job, I thought she was the one I liked and offered her a few days work assisting me. Well, turns out it was not the one I thought it was. You might recall I use the term 'Goldfish' occasionally to describe some girls here (and the better looking goldfish are called 'Coy'!) It's really just Norman and me resorting to high school humor, other types include the famous 'PNR's' or 'Pokey Nosed Rat' girls.... but back to this girl... You can imagine which category she fell into. She came 20 minutes late, then spent ten minutes in the bathroom, then I put her to work calling these numbers to find out the hours they were open and to confirm the address and find out the cross streets so we could bike there. After that (which took a surprisingly long time) I sat down with her to map out where we would be going I said, "So what's the cross street?" and she says, "Cross Street?" I could see where this was headed, took a breath and made her call back. We set out on our bikes with the mission of getting flyers out to various places about the auditions including the local performance college, and some dance studios. I just want to note that when I had made up the flyers and hired this Chinese helper I was getting nervous about the turn out for the auditions, but then it all picked up, and now I am feeling fairly confident. So we go to this 'Liberal Arts and Performance college.' Again, lucky me, another culturally educational experience. I expected it to be somehow different from everything else in China, more like a college campus, but I was wrong. We went to the cafeteria which is completely bare, row tables, and a buffet style. There is nothing on the walls, no student activity boards, nothing that made it any different from what I'd expect a jail cafeteria to look like, but that is standard for here. Go to the student lounge. Again, bizarrely uninhabited, a dark room with couches, empty walls, reeking of smoke. I put a few flyers here and there, but I'm asking myself at the same time, "Is this worth it?" Then to the dorms, and again, there is no place for students to communicate with each other, with the outside world.... I went to school in NY and spent time at Oxford and I just completely took for granted the endless amount of activities and communication, and gathering opportunities students have... I was shocked. And of course there was a dick behind a desk who does nothing but sits there all day and exploits any opportunity he possibly can to exert his half an inch of power over anyone he possibly can that took a look at the flyer and told us no, without offering explanation or a better place. The guy who sits there and says No has also become a staple in the everyday life here, there is one around every corner.

Then to a dance studio where the girl took it upon herself to speak on my behalf after I told her specifically not to say anything (the woman I was speaking to spoke very good english), and fish-head even had the nerve to give the woman her own number and told her to contact her to relay a message to me. This was definitely not working out. I had a 2pm meeting, which I knew I was going to be late for thanks to the conversation these two were carrying on and my plan was to bring the bikes back to the house, pay her for a half day and have her come back the next. Well, I had asked her to give me a list of colleges in Shanghai, which she did, and sent me, in Chinese, (I found several lists myself as well by searching the internet, came up in about 2 seconds), and to post my ad on a few Chinese sights (like I posted on Craigslist, adsweekly, and enjoyclassifieds, it took me an hour tops...) So I ask her how long it took her to do that for me, as I told her to keep track and I'd pay her for it, and she said "18 hours"!!! MY jaw is still on the floor. I couldn't believe it, especially after I knew how long it all took me, and I never ever expected her to work more than 3 or 4... or a day's worth even, though that would be stretching it! It's because I am a foreigner she was trying to get as much out of me as possible is what is between the lines here, I don't know how else to say it. When we got back to my place I settled with her... payed her what I expected to pay for a days work plus the internet hours, and she was hustling me for more money, and I ended up giving her about 30 more than she deserved just to get her to leave my house, and as I am kicking her out she says "Should I come next Tuesday?" She was the first person I've ever fired... it took a record 3 hours before I fired her... It was just a disaster, didn't know I had it in me, but glad to know I do. After that I wasn't so keen on the flyer idea, had my 2 o'clock meeting, and pretty much decided I shouldn't be around people for the rest of the day if I could manage it.

The dance companies and agencies are appearing to be very strange to me. I got in touch, called, emailed twice, all the agents in Shanghai, and out of them only two have gotten back to me, one saying they only cast for Hong Kong, the other being very helpful. So I decided not to venture back out into the world and to instead have a glass of wine and watch the MTV Music Video Awards. First of all, Britney Spears comes on stage and she gets a standing ovation! Maybe that sums it all up. And then she won 3 awards for the shittiest video and song I've ever heard! Rihanna is a mess, don't get her at all, Jamie Foxx, who has the opportunity to be a role model, talked like a street thug, and 'Lil Wayne' just grabbed his crouch the whole time... The only good thing about the show was Russell Brand, who is my new favorite! From where I was sitting you could see how clever he really was and all the fun he was poking at the audience of consumers and crap worshipers. The show itself had all these overblown production numbers, and it was obvious it was to cover up for the fact that all these people, (especially the ten people who were up for awards, because last year MTV only PLAYED ten videos), have no talent, no charisma, no way of speaking without being able to take four or five takes, and are nothing but pretty faces created by this whole machine, that has turned out to be a BIG mistake. When you take talent out of the equation, the music industry which is hurting terribly anyways becomes no different from every other music industry around the world. It used to be where we would shine (we being Americans), and now it is an embarrassment... The stuff that looked any good all happened during the commercial breaks too like Paramour, the Tsang Tsangs, and Kate Perry, who can't sing, but god bless the girl for trying!

So between that and the market and my first firing, my first comment this morning, waking up to face another day at it, I declared in my most honestly dramatic morning Betty Davis voice, "The world does not deserve my presence today!" But no one was buying it. Not even me, so I got up, and decided to take it a bit easy today. To not get stressed about the work I had to do, in fact, why not do something like write a blog? or find that stuff online you were interested in for yourself? So I went to the gym, had a nice lunch, and back to the house to write this nice blog, when I hear something from the bedroom bathroom... We have been having incessant drilling, hammering, and other noisy activities going on above our heads now for two months practically, beginning around 7am, ending around 10pm, and on weekends too. Recently out bathroom window was broken due to falling rocks, and today I went to investigate the sound. It was dripping water from a leak in our ceiling that looked ready to cave in from the bloody construction going on upstairs! I made the bed and moved some things before running upstairs and banging on the door. Didn't bother calling Norman, because here the house is the woman's territory so I had to manage and manage I did. I felt lucky I have a bit of the language, enough to explain what had happened and express my aggravation, as if it wasn't written all over my face! 2 guys come in, take their shoes off, go in to look at it. One guy gets up like he's going to poke at it, but I wouldn't let him and made them both leave to go upstairs, to stop the problem where it was happening. Then four people, 2 women and 2 men, wanted to come in to have a look, and the woman all had that look like they were just coming to be nosey, so I said "Only one person!" and everyone else had to wait. It is so funny what I've become! People here can often be pushy, loud, and self-righteous, and me playing nice was not helping anything, so I have really stepped up and this fierce side of me has been coming out in full swing. A side of me I myself might even regard as rude, or extremely strong, but it seems to be how you get shit done around here, pardon my french!

Things with the club are ok. Just ok. We are waiting on the investment money to come through. It is lined up, but it is frightening what is happening now with the economy, not the best time to be seeking money, even if we are the type of business that does very well even in hard times. Once that is sorted we will all be very happy people. I am excited about the team we have developed here of artists and enthusi-ist, and am feeling pretty confident about my showgirls at the moment. I am also getting inquiries from all over the world: London, Berlin, Sydney... it's really exciting!

I did a gig the other night at a huge Chinese club called M2. It was me and two other girls putting 2 acts together in 24 hours! We did a Pirate number to "Friggin' in the Riggin" by the Sex Pistols, and I'm told the crowd went nuts and really liked it, and then 'Lady Marmalade.' When we got there we couldn't find the stage anywhere... Well it was On top of the DJ booth, about 16 feet in the air, with a ladder you had to climb up. They assured us it had passed all safety and fire codes. And then they informed us there would be pyrotechnics going off 3 times during our performance! We threw a bit of a fit, re-arranged some stuff and finally decided to do it. Got paid rather nicely for it too! Funny, weeks ago I got an email about this gig inquiring about doing burlesque. I said I don't do traditional burlesque, but talk to my friend, and it was my friend who called to hire me for it, funny how it all worked out. I just have to be careful what I put my name on these days, so I was happy not to be in the drivers seat, though I ended up coming up with the first number, and I can tell you, while they all seemed to really like it, I have a feeling Pirates and the Sex Pistols was not what they expected! We had me and another girl as the pirates, then my friend Jeneiveve was the innocent sailor girl, there is a whole routine, she ends up getting drunk, starts to take off her clothes, I try to cover her up since it is very inappropriate and the other pirate doesn't like me touching her, we both end us getting kneed in the balls and then she finishes the number, in a nutshell. They had hired dancers to do a few 15 minute 'freestyle' dance sets, and they were all these Russian girls standing around smoking cigarettes, and a big fight broke out between them and the people who hired them. I couldn't imagine what they got so worked up about, but later was told it was because they had been asked to hand out masks (it was a Moulin Rouge theme) for a bit to people in the room. Apparently that was asking way too much. At that moment I was a bit scared, as those types of girls are possible candidates for us. But then afterwards the girls I had done the show with met up with some other girls who are performers and I looked around and thought "Thank God for these ladies!" Everyone is auditioning in the next 2 weeks, so very soon we will have our troupe together, which is very exciting. One of the Russian girls was standing in front of me while I sat there getting my hair done by not one, not two, but three Chinese guys ("Hair boys" are the closest thing to punks for the most part, the good looking spunky boys all work at a salon!), and her leg was about a foot away from my face and she had a huge, hand sized tattoo of something in the middle of her thigh. I couldn't believe I was so close, looking right at it and I still couldn't tell what it was supposed to be. It looked like a sad face pumpkin to me! I'm not knocking tattoos, but I'm knocking them in stupid places on stupid young girls.... I think I'm turning into my mother!

Then we went to see a friend of mine perform drag at the new gay club here at the edge of town. All the other gay clubs have been shut down, so they opened this one pretty far away from anything... making it almost impossible to get a cab back. The place was packed with mostly chinese boys, shirts off, very sweaty.... brings back memories! When I first moved to NY the gay clubs wouldn't card and you could go and dance all night, but no one ever bought me drinks. I have a great group of girl friends after being here a year! It's nice that at the end of a hard day, like yesterday, I had a girlfriend I could call just to talk to. I definitely don't take those things for granted anymore!! After that club we went to The Shelter, an underground bomb shelter where daylight never happens. Ended up talking to the owner a bit, considering we were about the only two fairly sober people there, then home. That's been happening more and more often when I realize I am way more sober than most people around me, which I like. Maybe I'm just growing up. It's a nice thing now too that there is a whole lot of new people who have just moved here and I feel a bit like an old hand, offering advice, places to go, and my chinese sounds amazing to them! I suspect if McCain and Tina Fey get elected we will see a lot more people out here. I still am happy to be living here by the way, even though I had a few complaints. When we have the club going all these petty aggravations will not matter so much, compared to the pleasure I will experience on a nightly basis, and I look forward to it! That's enough for now, thanks for reading! xxx

Diary of a Shanghai Showgirl

Wednesday 17 September 2008

A Very Long Blog

Wednesday 3 September 2008

AUDITIONS for CHINATOWN!!!